Maybe We Can

I’ve just been notified that this guy Barack Obama was elected president. I, personally, had never even heard of him until this evening, but he seems pretty popular if all that blue on the so-called electoral map means anything.

While I’m basically happy anytime someone else is happy, there is a dark side to this joyous uproar—namely, that the overwhelming support for Obama in the upper right part of the aforementioned map spells (at least four years of) doom for the New England Secession effort that I—and the whole New Enthusiast movement—have/has championed so vigorously.

And though the immediate future will be quite difficult for us, we all have one thing on which to hang our collective hat: the federal government’s capacity to screw up even the best case scenario.

In the meantime, sing the anthem, salute the flag, and remember your forefathers.

N.B. Only like 10% of this is a joke. 15% tops.