Selected Aphorisms #38

The thirty-eighth installment in our lying liar of a new series.

It goes without saying that the word repent derives etymologically from re (meaning “again”) and pent (meaning “five,” as in pentagon or pentateuch). It follows that repent means, literally, “five again” – as in five-times-two, or simply the number ten. Ten was, as it still is, the perfect score for an Olympian. Thus, to repent suggests the idea of perfecting oneself, of attempting to render one’s own conduct perfect in the estimation of the Ultimate Judge. That this etymology is entirely fabricated ought to be of no concern to the reader.  Rather, the lesson is to take pleasure in the proof itself. Or, stated in slightly different terms:  QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM, suckas!