Three Prospective TV Vehicles for Christopher Walken

Walken and Talkin’
The logical conclusion of all Aaron Sorkin’s work to date, this program removes all pretense of plot and character development, featuring in each episode just 23 minutes of witty, fast-paced banter between Walken and a rotating cast of witty, fast-paced actors.

Walken Contradiction
Sort of an Unsolved Mysteries for the contemporary audience, Walken Contradiction finds the eponymous host examining various paradoxes with the assistance of experts in relevant fields.

Walken, Don’t Run
A program dedicated to the growing field of Mindfulness, Walken, Don’t Run features Christopher Walken mostly just cooing softly, not unlike a tall and human mourning dove.

The Paradox of What Is Terrifying

The prospect of paying the rent — or, more precisely, of lacking the necessary funds to do so — is terrifying. Also terrifying, however, is the tedium one must endure — by means of finding gainful employment — in the service of paying the rent.

To review, then: both paying and also not paying the rent — this is what’s terrifying.

Spiritual Dilemma of the Middle West

Epicurus claims that one is capable of finding spiritual equanimity under any circumstance. Meanwhile, parked at a rest stop along an unrelenting stretch of Midwestern interstate, I observe a tired woman Windexing the glass doors of an edifice denoted by a sign (mistakenly, I assume) as the Welcome Center. Minutes later, she’s moved to a metal bench, where she smokes a cigarette while gazing without interest upon a collection of nearby weeds.

The tableau would appear to offer a compelling counterargument to Epicurus, who unfortunately — owing to his death thousands of years ago — is unable to enter the debate.

On Pleasure and the Novel

My wife relates to me the plot of a novel she’s reading in which the protagonist is incapable of experiencing pleasure — from which fact I gather that’s it’s an autobiographical work. The inability to experience pleasure is a necessary condition for the composition of a novel.