Regarding the Spittoon, Its Likely Ties to Morality

Man lost his humanity at approximately that same point in history as cuspidors were becoming less common in saloons and other public spaces. A case of correlation, this, or causation? One can’t say for sure. With regard to the latter possibility, however, a notable point: the absence of that particular receptacle prevented gentlemen from spitting in disgust at the sight or mention of an atrocity.

On Jorie Graham: Three Sentences

The writers of Two and a Half Men and the aesthetic disciples of Jorie Graham, while probably unfamiliar with each other’s work, both traffic in the same vocation — namely, as Purveyors of Tedium.

Three possible improvements to the work of Jorie Graham:

  • A Jorie Graham poem with a laugh track.
  • A Jorie Graham poem written in front of a live studio audience.
  • A Jorie Graham poem closed captioned for the hearing impaired.

Jorie Graham’s poems, by virtue of their obscurity, necessarily keep the reader at arm’s length. Practically speaking, this isn’t a problem: the discerning reader will inevitably choose to stand much further away.