Three Definitions of Polemicist

polemicist
[pəˈleməsist]
noun

  1. One who, containing an excess of shit, is compelled to discharge some quantity of it by mouth.
  2. One who traffics in human weakness — his own, first and foremost.
  3. A sort of abusive magician who, having pulled a rabbit from his hat, denounces the entire rabbit species and their perverted tastes in hiding.

A Problem of History

History, whether attempting to account for the masses or merely a privileged few, remains flawed insofar as it’s a record only of exertions — precisely the sort of behavior a reasonable person makes a point of avoiding.

Preferable would be a history of idleness. Of course, by definition, it can’t exist. No one sensible enough to conceive of it would consent to enduring the tedium inherent to composing such a document.

Against Wellbeing

It’s best to avoid an excess of physical wellbeing — to cultivate an ache or some other sort of mild discomfort to which one can reliably turn. That way, when actual disease arrives — and it inevitably arrives — the descent into poor health won’t be so conspicuous and, as a result, demoralizing.

New Fall Sitcom: Coach Žižek

New sitcoms are making their respective debuts this month. Here’s one of the most recent.

Through a series of absurd and ultimately unexplained Human Resource errors, celebrity philosopher Slavoj Žižek is named head coach of the Indiana University men’s basketball team. Contrary to what one might expect, however — i.e. that he’d dismiss interest in the program as a palliative endeavor for those suffering the trauma of life — he embraces his role entirely, developing almost an encyclopedic knowledge of contemporary offensive schemes and populating multiple social-media accounts with inspirational musings on the nature of competition.