I’m wary of anyone who describes himself as a storyteller. Like a colonial power, he exploits a natural resource — in this case, the inconsequential events which compose life itself — to an end he mistakenly and fiercely regards as virtuous.
My inability to conceive of the best-case scenario is a product of limited reason; the worst-case scenario, of limited imagination.
The writers of Two and a Half Men and the aesthetic disciples of Jorie Graham, while probably unfamiliar with each other’s work, both traffic in the same vocation — namely, as Purveyors of Tedium.
Three possible improvements to the work of Jorie Graham:
- A Jorie Graham poem with a laugh track.
- A Jorie Graham poem written in front of a live studio audience.
- A Jorie Graham poem closed captioned for the hearing impaired.
Jorie Graham’s poems, by virtue of their obscurity, necessarily keep the reader at arm’s length. Practically speaking, this isn’t a problem: the discerning reader will inevitably choose to stand much further away.
This child’s sense of wonder is infectious, and also so are his scabies.
The problem with the critic is that, after drinking the blood of Christ, his inclination is merely to offer a taste profile.
Exercise is the sort of endeavor one is glad to have performed in the past — rather, that is, than to be performing at the moment. With intercouse, it’s frequently the opposite.
In the 47th epigram of his 10th book, first century Roman poet Martial supplies the 17 necessary conditions for a good life, as follow.
- Inherited wealth, as opposed to that produced by an actual job.
- Some reasonably fertile land.
- A working fireplace.
- Total avoidance of lawsuits.
- An avoidance, almost as total, of business attire.
- A calm mind.
- Physical health.
- Gentlemanly powers.
- A sort of artful candor — or perhaps “benign insouciance.”
- Likeminded friends.
- Agreeable dinner parties.
- A simple, functional table.
- Nights without anxiety, but also not totally drunken, either.
- An active, but not entirely indulgent, sexual life.
- Considerable sleep, preferably when it’s dark out.
- The desire to be oneself only and nothing more/else.
- Neither a fear of, nor a wish for, one’s own death.