Party Stoppers
Posted: February 22, 2012 Filed under: Other Leave a comment »“But does friendship require consent?”
“This gathering is awash in white privilege.”
“I have jock itch.”
“Those are some diesel light fixtures, dude!”
“Someone’s getting laid!”
“You certainly do try.”
“Excuse me—what’s your socioeconomic background?”
“Let’s have a moment of silence.”
Party Stoppers
Posted: February 21, 2012 Filed under: Other Leave a comment »“Can I palpitate your face?”
“You make funny faces in your sleep.”
“Would I were a woman and could partake in this accursed nattering!”
“I’m disappointed no one here feels comfortable discussing race.”
“You got any Bare Naked Ladies on the playlist?”
“Whither went the good times?”
“I’m going to talk to each of you, at length, about Jesus.”
“We’re hanging out tomorrow.”
Something Else that Happened In the Still of the Night Besides Holding You Tight and Loving You So
Posted: February 21, 2012 Filed under: Other | Tags: dutch oven Leave a comment »Dutch oven.
Life’s Greatest Mystery: The Appeal of Indoor Soccer
Posted: February 17, 2012 Filed under: Other | Tags: indoor soccer, torn acl Leave a comment »If I wanted to voluntarily tear my ACL on synthetic patio grass I’d host a backyard barbeque, not play this silly game.
Self-Quote from the Future
Posted: February 17, 2012 Filed under: Other Leave a comment »Warning: The following post is kinda about sport.
Peering into the future, I am able to foresee how I would react to certain parental situations. The following dialogue is from February 17, 2036 when my yet unborn son is sixteen years old.
Son Woytek: I don’t understand why you love Ian Kinsler so much, he only hit .255 in 2011.
Me Woytek: I know you’re trying to make me angry, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
Son Woytek: Just cuz he’s Jewish…
Me Woytek: You’re no longer my son.
Party Stoppers
Posted: February 16, 2012 Filed under: Other | Tags: party stoppers 1 Comment »“My imagination is wildly fertile and generative. I will now blow your mind.”
“Ten minute uninterrupted funk bass solo! Watch out!”
“Your cat is dead now.”
“Did someone order a party guest who doubles as an irrepressible fountain of joy?”
“I have an unquenchable thirst for ribaldry.”
“Puppet show?”
“Which one of these closets leads to Narnia?”
“I’m struck by this gathering’s lack of diversity.”
“I propose we discourse on the fear of death.”
“That’s a rather unlettered way of putting it.”
“I am not yet sated with good times.”
One Example of the Importance of Punctuation, Mechanics, Capitalization
Posted: February 15, 2012 Filed under: Discovery, Other, Thought-Provoking Tale | Tags: life lessons Leave a comment »Many scholars agree that St. Francis of Assisi’s most indelible, important sermon was, “For the Birds”. Other religious scholars disagree often describing the aforementioned sermon as, “no great shakes” or “a cock and bull story”.
Bad Nicknames
Posted: February 13, 2012 Filed under: Other | Tags: nicknames 2 Comments »“Dumpy”
“The Cyst”
“The Ungulate”
“Captain Problems”
“Text”
“The Protuberance”
“Thunderpants”
“Bro Smell”
“Dog Shit”
“Rudy”
“Credit Default Swap”
Underrated Foods
Posted: February 11, 2012 Filed under: Other 3 Comments »Instant oatmeal
Flank steak
Maybe olive loaf. Haven’t tried it though.
McSweeney
Carson Cistulli
Dan Woytek
daynperry
Najib
Sean Casey
Dan Lurie
