The New Enthusiast

Final Screenplay for Peter Berg’s Film Adaptation of Battleship

Dan Lurie — Tue, 22 May 2012 19:26:29 +0000

Timmy: A4.

Bobby: Miss.

Bobby: B7.

Timmy: Miss.

Bobby: This sucks. Your dad still got that trunk of porn?

Carson Cistulli — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:26:32 +0000

Sean Casey — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:23:04 +0000

Artisanal Asswipe

Sean Casey — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:15:58 +0000

“Is a ‘wet willy’ acceptable?”

Sean Casey — Tue, 22 May 2012 13:55:37 +0000

“How about a towel fight instead?”

Carson Cistulli — Mon, 21 May 2012 21:32:55 +0000

“Ask not what your au pair can do for you, but what you can do for your au pair.”

Sean Casey — Mon, 21 May 2012 20:47:15 +0000

“Good thing you’ve got that flag! I was just about to continue my constitutional on your person.”

Carson Cistulli — Mon, 21 May 2012 16:33:04 +0000

Ryan Seacrest: The Handsomest Tool in the Shed

Sean Casey — Mon, 21 May 2012 13:20:57 +0000

Touch-free Erotic Massage

Carson Cistulli — Sun, 20 May 2012 20:39:06 +0000

Stink Bait