The New Enthusiast

Lesser Known Lonely Planet Guides

Sean Casey — Thu, 23 May 2013 12:26:30 +0000

The Lonely Planet Guide to Doing Something You’ll Later Regret in a Hostel

The Lonely Planet Guide to Taking a Male Lover in Papua New Guinea

The Lonely Planet Guide to Getting a Lurgy on Your Knob in Naples

The Lonely Planet Guide to Trying New Things with Silvio Berlusconi

Confederate Flag Haiku

Sean Casey — Mon, 20 May 2013 20:42:36 +0000

Confederate flag,
Massachusetts bumper. In
the snow, a peacock.

A Challenging Demographic

Carson Cistulli — Sun, 19 May 2013 19:21:52 +0000

People who say, “I want one.”

An Example of Conflict in a Story

Carson Cistulli — Sun, 19 May 2013 18:24:05 +0000

Arriving at the cafe, one can choose either to wait in line at the counter or to claim a table by setting down one’s personal belongings. If the cafe is particularly crowded — like on a weekend morning, for example — the latter option might be the only means to guaranteeing a seat. Some patrons, however, will certainly regard this course of action as rude. “Customers who have ordered already ought to have priority,” they contend. Others patrons will regard it as wholly logical. “Why order,” they ask, “if the possibility of having no seat is very real?” A third group regards it as rude and does it anyway. These people, we say, are “conflicted.”

Breasts (a Kenneth Lay prison poem excerpt)

Sean Casey — Sat, 18 May 2013 23:54:57 +0000

I let imagination
Philander for me.

Female breasts
Unmoored from brassiere
Jog for position
In my male mind.

My libido
Inflates like a
Frightened sea cucumber.

What a Wife Is Frequently Saying

Carson Cistulli — Sat, 18 May 2013 19:39:53 +0000

“Let’s disagree to disagree.”

Conclusion of a Very Brief Misunderstanding

Carson Cistulli — Sat, 18 May 2013 19:22:28 +0000

“Oh… mint as in money.”

90s Pop Couplet

Sean Casey — Fri, 17 May 2013 18:38:15 +0000

British band Go West are the kings of wishful thinking.
I’m the king of putting avocado on salad.

Mama Kin Couplet

Sean Casey — Fri, 17 May 2013 00:48:45 +0000

Steven Tyler keeps in touch with Mama Kin.
I’m not in touch with anyone from high school.

Not the Lyrics of a Real Foreigner Song

Carson Cistulli — Thu, 16 May 2013 22:46:35 +0000

I wanna know what love is. / I want your more attractive friend to show me.