The New Enthusiast

Greek Fragment #6

Carson Cistulli — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:18:03 +0000

From a series of Greek fragments from the 7th century BCE.

Is Aphron’s mother a whore?
Indeed, he’s the only one
to ever come out of her.

Ecce Sandwich!

Sean Casey — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:19:21 +0000

Among my greater talents is the ability to will a sandwich into existence. Sometimes, at work, I find myself hungry and craving that most wondrous creation: the sandwich. Not a half hour later, I’ll be passing down the hallway and espy, in a conference room, a plate of sandwiches! Not just one—a catered platter with assorted breads and variety of sandwich meats.

Ecce Sandwich!

Greek Fragment #5

Carson Cistulli — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:34:27 +0000

From a series of Greek fragments from the 7th century BCE.

Did I stab Aphron in the back?
Yes, but I was forced to:
the man was entirely ass.

UPDATE: Dr. Who’s New Office Hours

Sean Casey — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:00:10 +0000

London, September 22, 1672, 8am-10am

Gallifrey, January 14, 3034, 2pm-4pm

Lisbon, June 23, 1956, 12pm-2pm

From a Student, Upon Learning the Assignment for Class Entailed Reading

Sean Casey — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 22:07:24 +0000

“Word.”

Exercise in Entendre: Mind-Blowing

Carson Cistulli — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:42:41 +0000

How many entendres are present in the following utterance?

To wit: “This mind isn’t going to blow itself.”

An Unsuccessful Pick-Up Line (II)

Sean Casey — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:00:09 +0000

One might envision a romance of passion and adventure, but the truth is more boring: bright lights dim, bold colors run, and fireworks fall to earth partially exploded, their ashes commingling with puddle water into a black and stinky paste. Our surfaces might, at first, excite, but after initial congress, prolonged examination and company, excitement withers. It’s cold outside. Martini?

A Conversation that Leaves One at Relationship Equilibrium with a Well-Educated Woman.

Dan Woytek — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:31:12 +0000

Him: What are you doing Saturday?

Her: Not sure

Him: Do you want to go our local natural history museum? There’s a new exhibit featuring Panna Cotta Warriors!

Rational Responses to Charles Baudelaire

daynperry — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:22:17 +0000

Charles Baudelaire: “You have to be always drunk. That’s all there is to it—it’s the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.”

Rational Response: “Okay.”

Sir Mix-A-Lot Lyric, Revised to Enthuse about Greens

Sean Casey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 19:13:52 +0000

“Baby got bok choy!”