New Enthusiast Alcohol Intake Guidelines

So as to heighten hues of the phenomenal and more fruitfully plumb the sensate, it is permissible, even advisable, even laudable, to drink in moderate excess of original intake estimate, but inadvisable to so surpass this volume as to purchase with one’s good times a ticket to a three-day Barenaked Ladies concert of despair, with encore of self-loathing, somewhere in the expansive American Midwest of bowel discomfort.

Towards a Hermeneutics of “Woo!” and “Hoo!”

In the United States, the nonsense exclamation “Woo!” is often used to proclaim the pleasures of drunkenness. While largely female in usage, not a negligible amount of men employ a robust “Woo!” to signal that the sheet is aloft and caught in a fulsome wind.

Less known, and more useful, is the nonsense syllable “Hoo!” which, when properly and enthusiastically sounded, serves as a palliative for a hangover.

“Hoo!” a fellow exclaims, sitting up in bed, his head wrapped in a pillow. “This is a remarkable hangover!”

The hangover is greeted warmly, embraced, and, so celebrated, subsides. Variants of “Hoo!” are also effective—”Hoo Boy,” for instance, or “Haroooah!”