When asked if literature could act as a surrogate for religion,
he yelled and slammed his opponent’s hand on the table,
winning not only the grand prize but also his son’s affection.

***

The object of the game is to remain entirely motionless
lest anyone notice the priceless expression
forming on the Ultimate Warrior’s face
as he runs full speed into a terrifying job market.

***

The hot news of the day is Zika virus
spreading across the noodles mom just cooked.

***

In Florida today, a man has been convicted
of breaking into a pregnancy test.
He’s being held up to the sun,
so officials can examine the strange markings.

***

I’m not blameless myself, of course.
When presented with an opportunity to give back,
I just sit in traffic for an hour,
humming the theme song from my colonoscopy.

Is there bias in political media? Of course, it’s unavoidable. And it’s always in favor of the same woeful demographic: those who voluntarily consume political media.

The Romans contended that “in wine is truth.” That’s their prerogative. As for me, though, I prefer not to dwell on its flaws.

Younger
The prospect of transcending the self by means of contemplative practice.

Older
Liniment.

One’s inclination is to pity Dayn, owing to the state and condition of his hideous face. To the contrary, however, he’s more fortunate than anyone: he’s the only one not compelled to see it.

Expressing a relative lack of interest in so-called “current events,” I was accused of “burying my head in the sand.”

Perhaps. One notes, however, that many early Christian mystics retreated to the desert and resided for long periods of time in just a small hole — with a view, that is, to dedicating themselves entirely to the spiritual intellect. By their standards, I’d still have to bury my torso and legs to reach a suitable condition for my contemplative practices.

A tyrant is one who demands more wine without realizing his cup is already full.