Similes for Mark Leidner

It’s like a canker sore that got a master’s degree somehow.

It’s like a parrot with ties to the Midwest.

It’s like a parent-teacher conference, but for hijackers.

It’s like if Barbara Streisand were ever wounded.

It’s like if groceries were your first kiss.

It’s like a toll booth for only celebrities.

It’s like an American Pentateuch, if that makes sense.

It’s like running a stop sign mid-apocalypse.

It’s like a still life of the Carter administration.

It’s like having an epiphany in the break room.


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