On Ontological Constipation

“It’s not easy being…”
—Kermit the Frog

A difficulty fully being, of traversing the distance between “I” and “am.” Symptoms include fear of fine dining, reluctant and painful is-ness, guttural ontogrunts, ontohemorrhoidal polyps, seasonal Dasein allergies, abuse of word “like” and “actually,” afternoon drinking (as midday acceleration technique), turgid and odorless political pronouncements, atrophied Sartre glands, interrogative intonation of declarative statements, Buberian reflux, poor void appreciation, dispiriting Heideggerian discharge, deposits of impacted joy, and inanition of inner Don Cornelius.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s