Quod nimio gaudes noctem producere vino,
Ignosco: vitium, Gaure, Catonis habes.
Carmina quod scribis Musis et Apolline nullo,
Laudari debes: hoc Ciceronis habes:
Quod vomis, Antoni: quod luxuriaris, Apici.
Quod fellas, vitium dic mihi cuius habes?
I don’t begrudge you, Dayn, the pleasure you derive
from drinking all night: the statesman Cato had a similar habit.
And for your conspicuous literary talents, you clearly
ought to be praised — no less than Cicero was in his own time.
With regard to all the cock you suck, though, I’m less certain.
After what great Roman do you model yourself in terms of ceaseless cock-sucking?