What to Say to the Gentleman at the Computer Next to You in the Library who Furtively Views Adult Content

“They’re getting to know each other, aren’t they?”

“What are they doing—playing leapfrog?”

“You seem like a good guy. What’s your name?”

“They’re not going to make a baby that way.”

“Ouch.”

“Let’s hope they’re both exceptionally hygienic.”

“Have you ever done that?”

“They must be friends, no?”

“What are you doing after this?”

“Mind if I pass flatus?”

“I believe the Old Testament has something to say about that.”

“Think globally. Act locally.”

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