Answers to the Question, “Why Did Carson Cistulli Move To Paris?”

“Mission work for the Church of Latter Day Sabermetricians.”

“Deportation.”

“His wife moved there and told him he could come if he wanted.”

“To teach a class in gay at the fuckin’ Sorbone or some shit.”

“To speak English at an elevated volume.”

“To give the Continent the business.”

“They have the internet.”

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