Justin Pelletier Is Not Going To Lie, Spent Good Portion Of Thursday Night Knocking Boots

Durham, NH—University of New Hampshire sophomore Justin Pelletier, 19, had intercourse Thursday. A gentleman doesn’t tell tales, but Justin Pelletier is not a gentleman. “It was pretty much straight doggy,” Pelletier said, with helpful accompanying gesture. What began at a party at an off-campus apartment on Vernon Street gave way to the night of memorable whoopie. “She was the hottest girl there,” Pelletier noted. “I think her name’s Nicole. We have some mutual friends and got to talking. Some drinks, some laughs. One thing led to another, and that thing led to doing it all night on my boy Rick’s futon. Sorry Rick.” Pelletier grinned. “What else can I tell you? Ladies love the D.” Asked if the night of fevered congress augured a romance in the offing, Pelletier hocked something up, spat it across the student union foyer, then looked away.

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