Parental Advice from the Totally Childless: Children and Profanity

Problem
Your child is using explicit language.

Solution
He’s merely looking for attention. Tell him you would be shocked by profanity — if it were 40 years ago and you lived on the fucking prairie. Inform him his efforts are “highly derivative” and lack “a nodding acquaintance” with the genre. Suggest he watch “even one second” of Richard Pryor’s Live in Concert and “not to come back” till he’s prepared to make an original contribution.

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