Similes for Mark Leidner, Part Four

Parts: One / Two / Three.

It’s like forgetting your will in a tanning booth.

It’s like finding a bullseye on your wife, inexplicably.

It’s like buying the Consumer Reports on grave plots.

It’s like a chicken that places its own self on the rotisserie.

It’s like waking up to a world without melancholy.

But it’s more like introducing melancholy back into that world, with a view towards creating your own cottage industry of melancholy — and then, upon being confronted by the only other person to have previously been aware of melancholy, acknowledging that you’ve made a decision that’s harmful in aggregate, but which you regard as the only reasonable solution to addressing the debilitating anxiety you’ve endured while attempting to support a wife and children.

It’s like cutting coupons for the DMV.

It’s like breaking and entering into a memory.

It’s like tailgating at your dad’s yearly physical.

It’s like silly-stringing some Crips good-naturedly.

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