I’ll do my best.
Your “best”! Losers always whine about their “best”! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Carla was the prom queen.
Or, I should say, she was technically the prom queen. If I’m being perfectly honest, though, it was a really small school. Like, 30 kids tops in the graduating class. So the distinction of prom queen was probably less meaningful than at a typical, larger regional high school.
To address the larger point, though, I don’t think it matters whether she was the prom queen or not. She’s a beautiful capable woman who oughtn’t be reduced to a distinction she received as an 18-year-old. Nor does her physical beauty reflect on my own capacities as a chemical weapons specialist.